My paranoid thought for today …

Do not let THIS be your paranoid thought because it doesn’t feel very comforting.  I’ve been thinking about my expanding middle as of late.  Definitely not pregnant … if you’ve been paying attention at all this is a blog about cats my hysterectomy.  Obviously with no baby house I CANNOT be pregnant.  Very thankful about that actually. I decided to keep my tubes and ovaries because I didn’t want to go into dramatic and sudden menopause … and did discuss this issue with my GYN who agreed keeping my ovaries was definitely reasonable based on my health history and age.

Ovarian CA Facts

But I’m thinking that horrible thought about ovarian cancer!  I do have both my ovaries and well, one sign is swelling of the abdominal area.  However, I’m trying to rely on that saying, “When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses and not zebras.”

Horses not Zebras

I remember the first time I heard this saying.  I was working in an inner city ER as a nurse and having a conversation with one of the best ER physicians I have ever known, Dr. Byon Vaughn (RIP).  I was asking him how in the world could he make such accurate and discerning diagnoses and be sure it wasn’t a scarier, rarer diagnosis.  How did he know?  And that’s when he quoted that quote up there.  Me not being as bright as he, had to ask for clarification of this aphorism and it’s meaning has stuck with me to this day.

So, I’ve told myself that I don’t have a family history of ovarian (or any other kind of cancer) and that I’m not having any other signs of ovarian cancer … although ovarian cancer is quite evil and sneaky being often diagnosed late.  I’ve decided that the truth is that I’m eating too many sweets, enjoying wine and other alcoholic beverages and not exercising … so, this is the recipe for weight gain.

Ovarian cancer symptoms — 

The signs of ovarian cancer may be different for each woman and any one of these symptoms may be caused by noncancerous conditions. Because the ovaries are located near the bladder and the intestines, gastrointestinal symptoms often occur.

When present, common symptoms of ovarian cancer may include:

  • Persistent abdominal bloating, indigestion or nausea
  • Changes in appetite, often a loss of appetite or feeling full sooner
  • Feelings of pressure in the pelvis or lower back
  • Needing to urinate more frequently
  • Changes in bowel movements
  • Increased abdominal girth
  •  Feeling tired or low energy

Cancer Center Treatment Centers of America

Looking at the above list, I wouldn’t say I have bloating or indigestion or even nausea.  I would say I have a loss of a waistline with pudgy McPudge Pudge setting in.  My appetite seems to be just fine … perhaps too fine at times!  Candy bar(s) anyone?!  Cheetos now, later or both?  No, pelvic pressure but yep some low back pain, but for Pete’s sake I have a desk job!  I sit on my bony @ss ALL day!  DESK JOBS ARE BAD FOR YOU! Nope no change in the amount I pee — still the same as before the hysterectomy … just can’t pee as fast.  No change in bowel movements EXCEPT that since my hysterectomy I am not constipated all the time.  My BMs are more normal — aren’t you glad you know that about me?  Yes, I do feel tired lately … I think it’s because I’m simply out of shape preferring to exercise my mouth and chomping away instead of using my whole body by exercising.  I also have become a stress-eater.  I used to lose my appetite under stress and now all I want is to make poor food choices!  And sex is NOT painful — not one bit.

So, I’m either in the early stages of ovarian cancer or simply getting an apple figure.  Bleh.   I don’t want to be an apple!  And I certainly do not want ovarian cancer!  I had a beautiful Canadian friend die of ovarian cancer … she had pretty much all the listed symptoms. You can read about my lovely friend Andrea HERE.  It won’t take you long really … just go visit my dedication page.  You’ll be back in a jiffy to read more of my jabberwocky.

I’m going to try something new for a change.  I’m really, really, really going to try to eat better or at least avoid the “bad things” and I thought about doing this really crazy thing … like only drinking 1-2 drinks once a month on whatever special occasion happens (think anniversary, 4th of July, Labor Day, Birthday, etc.).  This is so hard because I like wine with my dinner many nights and I’m a sucker for beautiful concocted cocktails.  

The other problem I see coming down the pike is when there are two or more “special occasions” in a month!  Holy Moly, I guess I’ll just have to prioritize.  I don’t know if I can succeed at this or for how long.  Being that today is the 1st of May I thought I’d give it a go … always nice and orderly to start something on the first of something I think.  My BIG “have a drink day” this month will be my wedding anniversary!

Anniversary someecards

It’s going to be big anniversary number EIGHT!  Does that mean I can have eight drinks?  Just kidding.

I also thought less wine with dinner will be cheaper on the budget too.  Somehow drinking, and I don’t mean to excess by any means, simply one or two glasses every few nights really increases my appetite the next day.

Did you know?

Alcohol also acts as a potent appetizer. Ever heard of an aperitif? It’s an alcoholic drink taken before a meal to increase the appetite, and many restaurants realize this is a great way to get you to order more food! Several studies exist that show a sharp increase in caloric intake when an alcoholic drink is consumed before a meal (compared to a glass of water, or even a soda!).


Moreover, research shows that as few as two standard alcoholic drinks can slow down your body’s fat-burning process by a whopping 73%. (And that goes for any high-fat foods you eat while drinking and any fat you’ve been trying to get rid of before you took your first sip—even if you’ve eaten one of these fat-burning foods.)


I feel like the non-alcoholic alcoholic.  I don’t really need to drink … I simply like it.  I need to lose weight.  I look like a pudge in all my photos and some pants are starting not to fit.  I FEEL better when I weigh less.  I figure cutting back on alcohol is one great way to save on calories.

cat fat cat fat

If I were I cat I’d look something like this.

Please wish me luck in this endeavor.  Perhaps if I were French and walked everywhere I could drink more wine, but alas I’m an American who drives EVERYWHERE and usually don’t take the stairs up (only down).

Ciao for now! ❤

6 thoughts on “My paranoid thought for today …

  1. My mom died of ovarian cancer so I very aware of the signs. She *knew* she had ovarian cancer but her doctor refused to do a pelvic exam telling my mom that she just needed to lose weight. She had all the symptoms. A needless death. I tell anyone who will listen about the signs.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh, I hear this time and time again about how many women are (mis)diagnosed with many things before the ovarian cancer is found.

      I’m sorry about your mom. 😦

      Good for you for raising awareness where & when you can! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ugh! Maybe just try giving up wine/alcohol on weekdays? That’s what I’m doing to try and cut back on my consumption and calories….Some weeks it works, and other weeks I really need that glass of wine. And candy bars are definitely not your friend! Also, sometimes its possible to have too much knowledge. A friend of mine works for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, and now every time she has a weird twinge or symptom of anything she worries its cancer. And she says, “I know too much about cancer so now I think everything is a symptom of cancer!” Not good. Focus on a reasonably healthy diet and start walking. Your bony ass will thank you. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • So far the alcohol/wine thing abstinence has been easy. When I don’t drink all the cravings for the “bad stuff” falls away and automatically want to eat less. I look forward yo y anniversary coming up to have some wine or a special cocktail. I have been treating wine like a good group also thinking I am some French person who can drink wine with dinner daily but not eat the fresh food and do loads of daily walking — one cannot embrace only one part of this culture with the expectation of staying slim & healthy.

      I’m only going to truly worry if I make healthy lifestyle choices and I either continue to gain weight and/or my abdominal girth increases.

      But good news — since this original post I’ve started taking the stairs, drinking much more water, eating healthy foods, cutting out all alcohol and added sugar, I have lost 6 lbs.! I’m not starving, I’m waking up well-rested and don’t feel so abdominally fat! I’ve a ways to go — only just started!

      Thanks for your words of encouragement! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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