Other fellow bloggers know what I’m talking about … ever look at that SEARCH TERMS section on your stats? Yeah, I get some interesting, obvious, bizarre and bat-sh*t-crazy search terms listed. Let me take a little time to answer some of these specifically … or lead the curious to answers!
QUESTION: After hysterectomy blues because it’s still sore …
By “it” I’m assuming you mean your vaginal area? Perhaps, more accurately your abdominal area … well, yes, yes, you’ll still be sore! You just had a MAJOR surgery. Did your surgeon not explain this to you? A hysterectomy is not like a manicure … and if you hurt from your manicure something definitely went wrong there. Cheer up. Wait the 6-12 weeks your doctor recommends before you resume aggressive cuddling, assault with a a friendly weapon, bam-bam in the ham, completing the jigsaw puzzle, batter-dippping the corn dog (or the horn dog) or bisecting the triangle (AKA sexual intercourse). Your blues will dissipate eventually … either that, or you may need hormone replacement! Be patient with yourself and your body. (Easier said than done!)
QUESTION: Hysterectomy before and after pictures?
Check this out: YOU ARE SO LUCKY I TOOK PICS!
Check the above photos out!
QUESTION: What is a vaginal cuff?
VAGINAL CUFF MADNESS — It’s more than a sock!
QUESTION: How many post-op appointments after an abdominal hysterectomy?
One thousand. Yep, you’ll have to go see your doctor at least 1000 times. It might seem like a lot but YOU are worth it! This will be your new hobby. No, really, I don’t know. I had my hysterectomy performed (not to brag) the da Vinci Laparoscopic Hysterectomy method. I had one follow-up appointment 6 weeks later, and then a few months later to deal with that nasty vaginal cuff granuloma. Maybe you’ll need more post-op appointments depending on your general health, how your abdominal incision is healing, how much pain you have and whatever your surgeon recommends.
QUESTION: Why does it take longer to recover from a hysterectomy than a c-section?
Short answer: You DON’T have a baby to distract you.
Long answer: Hysterectomy vs. C-section
QUESTION: What is used to create a cuff after a hysterectomy?
Two things: licorice (black, of course) and cat fur. Just kidding. It’s really bitcoins … bitcoins hold that cuff together! KIDDING! The vaginal cuff is not really created with anything more than your own tissue. The vaginal cuff is actually a removal of the cervix with surrounding attachments sutured closed. See “What is a vaginal cuff” above.
QUESTION: Full hysterectomy but still pregnant?
What?! No, seriously what? You might need a hysterectomy after your pregnancy — usually only for emergent cases of injury or rupture. I’m not really sure what you’re asking. I hoped my answer helped more than it hurt … because your question hurt my brain.
QUESTION: Is it normal to poop from your vagina after a hysterectomy?
While some may consider this a special skill, no, no and more no this is not normal and you should not sign up for the circus as a freak entertainer no matter how much they offer to pay you! THIS IS NOT NORMAL. It’s also not normal to poop from your nose, mouth, belly button or third eye. Please see your doctor like yesterday if you have feces coming from your vagina even if you have never had a hysterectomy.
If you are building a log cabin from your vagina you are most likely experiencing a rectovaginal fistula. You will need to see a colorectal surgeon to fix the wall between your rectal area and vagina. Don’t worry, the surgery will not take as long as building a border wall between Mexico and the U.S. — nor will it cost as much!
Whew! I’ve had it up to the cuff with these questions and am really pooped out now!