3 Years Ago Today

Apparently I started this blog three years ago.  WordPress reminded me it was my anniversary.  I’m glad I’m not in a relationship with someone real to be responsible to remember this date because I really blew it.

Hey!  Let’s recap the three years … briefly.  Really.  I have to get back to my useless internet search of stupid stuff.

  • Glad I had my hysterectomy.  No regrets.
  • Today … kind of got teary-eyed today when I saw a baby that “could” have been mine — in other words, she could have passed for my offspring.  It was short-lived as I have not forgotten how much fun life is without a little being or beings in tow to constantly be responsible for.  However, I do have my cats and husband so there is some responsibility there.  Oh, and my job — please don’t let me go there.  It’s been a bundle of stress lately to the point I’ve had chest pain.  Again, let me NOT go there.
  • I have subscribed to a whole bunch of blogs over these three years.  Reading on WordPress IS my new hobby.  Most of the blogs I read are cat blogs … OK, I really just look at the photos.
  • I’m still having intermittent hot flashes. I blame my diet for this: wine, coffee and some sweets.  I suppose I want the coffee, wine and chocolate MORE than not having hot flashes.  Maybe one day I will get over these minor vices, but until I will suffer through my intermittent flushing, flashes and sweating. Oi vey.  Poor me.
  • I’m moving soon and will have to put off my eventual cat (or other subject, but probably not) blog.  I’m stockpiling photos of my little furbears!
  • My dad turns 80 this year.  I have nothing more to say about that.  He is healthy and happy and that’s all I could really ask for.
  • I have an anxiety feeling that started with spring.  I wonder if it will go away with summer?  The recent stress of my job has not helped this arena one bit.  I am being silent-bullied at work.  I didn’t know ignoring someone was a form of bullying.  Apparently, it is.  Check out being ignored as a bullying tactic (Bully Free at Work)I feel embarrassed to admit that I am being ignored by a couple people at work.  Anyway, I’m trying to deal with this the best I can.  Ugh.
  • Today is the first day I honestly considered getting a tattoo and possibly had some insight as to at least one reason someone might get inked — to put personal words and/or a symbol to remind themselves of something that means quite a bit to them … like a permanent post-it note reminder!  I thought about three tattoos I’d like: 1. the “evil eye” … sometimes I feel some people are jealous of me and I’d like to have a particular tattoo to distract them, 2. some sort of symbol of Karma symbol or a phrase about Karma — something to remind me what comes around goes around, like that of what’s happening to me and to remind myself that my actions, positive and negative, come around back to me as well, and, 3. the word “reciprocity” — I often give to people who do not give back and I need to stop this; I need to pause giving to those beings who reciprocate kindness and actions that I do, to stop giving little gifts to people who are unable to say thank you or give in kind and to simply be friendly but not overextending myself.  But honestly, I’m too chicken to get something permanent placed on my body. I doubt I’ll ever get a tattoo.

Did you know?  A belief in the evil eye is widespread on every continent.

The Evil Eye (ayin ha-ra) is often defined as the ability to bring about evil results by a malicious gaze. In most cultures the belief is prevalent that some human beings have the power of sending destructive rays, so to speak, in order to cause harm to those of whom they are envious or otherwise dislike.

Evil Eye in Judaism

Hamsa evil eye tattoo

NOT a photo of me … or one of my cats either!  I so own some Hamsa earrings & necklace and an evil eye bracelet — my very first item purchased from Etsy. 

I’m not really superstitious.  Really.  I don’t believe in ghosts or angels or spells or speaking in tongues or seances or heaven or hell or reincarnation or astral projection … part of me feels silly even thinking about things like Karma and the evil eye.

Did you know? The relationship of karma to causality is a central motif in all schools of Hindu, Jain and Buddhist thought.

The theory of karma as causality holds that (1) executed actions of an individual affects the individual and the life he or she lives, and (2) the intentions of an individual affects the individual and the life he or she lives. Disinterested actions, or unintentional actions do not have the same positive or negative karmic effect, as interested and intentional actions.

Wikipedia on Karma

Karma quote Wayne Dyer

Hmmm … I better behave better!

Did you know? To really take inventory of the quality of your friendships with the goal of eliminating any non-reciprocal or toxic friends, it means we value ourselves enough to believe we deserve better, we deserve to be treated the way we treat others.  The importance of reciprocal relationships.

It’s important to take an inventory of our relationships and determine if there is an overall reciprocity. Healthy relationships deserve it. Those that don’t have it, might need to be re-evaluated.

TheOpenedBox.com

reciprocity quote

I got a lot of account closing to do!

My take away from from the bullying article referenced above is be friendly, firm, but not familiar, and in the meantime, look to serve, be helpful, and trusted with all you come into contact with – this will help to secure your connection with … [all relationships].

Wow.  I didn’t mean to write so much.  Have a great day!  And of course, see below for the cat photo you’ve been waiting for!

cat-and-bunny-04

Happy Easter!  You can tell this was an old photo because this photo was taken before the days of safety helmets.


Why I don’t tell people I’ve had a hysterectomy

I frequently want to tell some friends and family members that I had a hysterectomy about eight months ago.  But I never do.  I never tell them about this surgery.  I’d like to mention it though because it’s been a big part of my life.

I don’t tell them because …

  • They don’t ask me about having a baby anymore.  So, I wouldn’t need to explain how would be impossible now … at least a baby coming from my body!  The baby house is gone folks!
  • They are too focused on telling me about them so I end up listening instead. safe secret
  • It seems weird to suddenly say, out-of-context, Hey, by the way, I’ve had a hysterectomy!  Especially when we’ve just been talking about 50 Shades of GreyThere really is nothing sexier than a love story and bondage mixed with a hysterectomy … NOT!
  • Recently I’ve even forgotten about the hysterectomy myself.  Seriously.  Apparently my husband has too because at about six months post-op he mentioned “that hysterectomy you had a year ago”  while I had to remind him I hadn’t even had my hysterversary* yet.

HYSTERVERSARY: An anniversary of having had a hysterectomy

  • I want to talk about other things … and there are so many other things to talk about.
  • I don’t want them to feel like I left them out on a part of my life when I had the hysterectomy, just now including them several months later to spare their feelings.
  • My hysterectomy went well emotionally and physically so there isn’t much to say … at least out loud to others.
  • I instead tell women who are about to have a hysterectomy about my experience … they seem to genuinely appreciate the sharing.
  • I would rather my friends and family read this blog instead … but I don’t even tell them I have a blog!  They don’t ask.  I don’t tell.

secret self

Don’t think I don’t tell them because …

  • I’m squeamish about talking about anything medical.  This couldn’t be further from the truth!  I can talk about almost anything medical without flinching and go into great detail … well, except eyeballs.  Eyeball surgery makes me squeamish.  Bleh!
  • I’m a prude.  Nope, not me.  Again, I can talk about the female body with ease.  And have.  And will.
  • I think they’ll feel sorry for me.  No again.  I can’t imagine how they would feel sorry for me unless they’re still hung up on the notion of a near-fifty-year-old woman giving birth!  I’d actually have to set anyone straight who expressed sympathy in regard to my hysterectomy.
  • I’m such a private person.  Well, yes and no.  I’m sort of private but I’m also very open when talking to most friends and family about life experiences.  Things have to be in the right context at the right moment for me to share many details of my life though.
  • They might think differently about me.  This is possible but I certainly wouldn’t care they thought I was different due to having had a hysterectomy.  I am different.  I am no longer fatigued and in pain every single month … but otherwise I’m pretty much the same ol’ every day me … sans uterus.kitty does not care
  • I’m ashamed to tell people I had the surgery.  Nope.  Nope.  Nope.  I’m actually relieved I had the surgery and would like to tell people how much my life improved.  I also feel grateful I had good medical insurance coverage, not to mention an extremely supportive husband.  I’ve always thought I should have had a celebratory hysterectomy party but my husband thought that would be too much.  Too much fun I say!

Through one other particular life-changing experience I learned that sharing intimate details of my life isn’t always necessary and won’t always be appreciated.  I have learned to live in the space that it’s OK if everyone doesn’t know something I’d like to share with them.

At this point, all the people who need to know or I feel really need to know that I’ve had a hysterectomy know.  If and when the times comes that it’s necessary to share with others about my past surgery I will.  But until then, it’s still a semi-secret part of me.

Here’s one secret I’ll leave YOU with … the secret as to why cats purr:

*DISCLAIMER

cats purr beecause