Hello! It’s been almost 4 years … woo hoo!

Hello followers!  It’s been almost four years since I had my hysterectomy.  This is still a decision that has been life changing in a very positive way.  As a recap … [yawn] I had my uterus out (still have ovaries & tubes) through the laparoscopically assisted da Vinci robot.

Have I gained weight after my hysterectomy?  Yes, and I attribute that to my seafood see-food diet … you know, I see it I eat it (except for goaty goat cheese and lamb — those things are yucky).  I’m also almost 50 and haven’t exercised lately.  Now, if I was eating properly and hadn’t fallen in love with all the flavors of Talenti Gelato, and been hitting the gym, doing yoga and walking, and STILL gaining weight, then yeah, I probably would blame the hysterectomy along with my aging body.  But until then, I am the master of my own shape … I’m in shape … round’s a shape … and I’m round … so, I’m in shape, right?  OK, I’m sorta round.  I’m exaggerating to make you feel better.  Now go look up that Talenti Gelato — you’ll be hooked too! Mmmmmm!

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My latest favorite flavor!  Did you think this was an ad?  It’s not … just my personal promotion for a product I love.  No, no I’m not getting paid to “promote” this brand of gelato … but Talenti, if you’re out there I’ll take payment in your gelato without a problem!


What have I been up to you may ask?  Well, I moved last spring to a larger house — not because my body got bigger.   My husband wanted to work at home (really, he’s a stay-at-home cat daddy, and aren’t I jealous?!) and I needed to be closer to work.  I live in a city where it’s growing too damn fast for it’s britches … kind of like me and my underwear!  THAT’S when you know you’re gaining weight — your underwear is tight and not in that sexy, slinky way!  More gelato anyone?  Granny pannies anyone?

My cats are STILL pawesome — the two of them.  How are your cats?  Do tell.yin_and_yang_cats_by_khaliaart-d9vnti5

I have a new job on the horizon! WOO F*CKIN’ HOO!  Can we say that again?!  Lord almighty Aphrodite! I start in just over a month.  I’ve been at my current one for over a decade and feel like I’ve mastered everything (notice I did not say everyone) — not that I can’t learn new things, or that I know everything, or that things don’t change. new job joy cat I have an incredible opportunity to do more and be more with some pretty amazing new team members!  Nothing like a new job to breathe life into a person.  I’m thinking I finally did something right with my Karma, or someone got tired of playing with that voo doo doll of me (or they simply lost it and my torture is on hiatus).  Your guess is probably better than mine!

In comparison, getting a new job was scarier than recovering from my hysterectomy! My uterus gave lots of unsolicited pain, while my current job is almost bipolar in nature … just enough good stuff that kept me hanging on and weird, bad drama that has me learning unwanted lessons in sociology & psychology. Lately, happiness is like chasing rainbows with butterfingers. One thing I have learned is that I can stay at a job for a REALLY long time. I am LOYAL … or a masochist … or maybe, a loyal masochist — even better. This is a lot like my pre-hysterectomy days where I endured a lot of pain for years before finally deciding it was time to move on … move on to surgery.

Quitting your job and starting a new one is not a single act — this ordeal is a process … from what to say in the interview(s), to knowing when to tell your manager adios (that’s goodbye in Spanish — have to keep it translatable for the non-Spanish speakers out there!), from choosing the right words for the resignation letter because I’m outta here bitches simply isn’t professional even if it *might* be tempting and possibly honest, to not taking it personally when people have varied reactions when you tell them you’re leaving (AKA moving out of purgatory), to buying a new wardrobe and so on and so on.

One of the best articles I’ve read about what to expect from co-workers when they know you are leaving is from Payscale.com (see below, my comments in brackets).

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM YOUR CO-WORKERS AFTER YOU ANNOUNCE THAT YOU’RE QUITTING (September 2015):

If you’ve recently announced that you’re leaving a job, even if you were anticipating some upheaval, your co-workers’ reactions to the news might surprise you.

  • The kind friend [all the people I really like]
  • The angry and resentful response [none so far, but there’s always hope!]
  • The abandoned [Two or three, I may have left one out]
  • The total change [One, but she went from nasty to nice — so it’s a good thing!]
  • Looking through you [One and a half so far …]

Full article HERE

I have experienced all of the above reactions except the angry and resentful response; Yikes, wouldn’t that be awkward and uncomfortable!  Mixed metaphorically speaking, I’m sure there are some thinking, Don’t let that horse you rode in on hit you on the way out of your league!  The co-workers with whom I feel comfortable around have all been supportive and congratulatory.  (All of YOU get yummy hugs.)  I haven’t gotten any awesome goodbye gifts yet … but everyone has over 30 days to save up and splurge!  Don’t worry, I don’t kid myself … I can’t imagine any quislings shelling out anything for me.  There may be one person who knits crochets something for me, and I’ll be sure to post a photo of it if she does. I might get a knife … in the back trending on that’s what everyone else who’s left has gotten. Save your tears … I got a raise with the new job! Can we say woo f*ckin’ hoo, again?  It’s a small raise, but should cover money for some gelato and kitty litter — the only things that really matter besides gasoline and wine.

The cliquish and frenemy team members have ranged from, You’re leaving me with all the people who suck (backhanded compliment, anyone?) to completely ignoring me like I didn’t exist (a cross between abandoned and looking through you — see above and below).  I have over a month with some really kind folks and … the others.  Wish me patience and luck.

So let’s talk about abandonment issues; or you can just read along and I’ll write. Are you still with me? I blog to cut down on any therapy costs I might accrue in life.  Why go to the doctor when you can do it yourself?  Unless you need a hysterectomy … don’t DIY!

… [W]ait until you come in contact with someone who has had their abandonment issues stirred up by the news of your departure. They might not just be cold and aloof [as the anger and resentment folks], they might be downright cruel. The idea is they want to abandon you before you can abandon them.

If they shove you away, they don’t have to face their feelings that you’ve left them high and dry. They might believe, falsely, that you should stay with the company and be just as committed as they are, maybe even more so. Know that this reaction isn’t really about you, it isn’t personal. It’s just how some people cope – it’s their way of protecting themselves from difficult feelings.

A race to abandonment?! What if I have abandonment issues and I’m the one being abandoned by those feeling abandoned?  I guess I have to step up (or away) and be the better person … taking the higher road less traveled, walking the walk like goody-two-shoes.  My take away from working with my current group is like herding cats with an iron fist.  And when you’re a cat person like me, sometimes it’s hard not thinking it’s a doggie dog world!  Can we round up just one more woo f*ckin’ hoo?!?


What else is new?  I don’t know.  Cats anyone?  Meow, meow!  Enjoy the slideshow.  These prints are courtesy of Jay Fleck, an amazing artist and illustrator.  More gorgeous art by Mr. Fleck can be found HERE!    click it   click it   click it!

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

(To see this slide show you need Java Script or to possibly view on your PC  — this doesn’t work on my cell phone. C’est la vie!)


Until then …I’ll continue to dig in at my job doing my best until that last bittersweet day!  I’m done with my touchy feely swan song today.  You can all go play with your cats now.

movingforward


 

Disenfranchised Grief … and HYSTERECTOMY

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❤ Revisiting DISENFRANCHISED GRIEF

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Disenfranchised grief … I remember first finding this term during a time of loss … a loss that I couldn’t express to most everyone and definitely not publicly.  It was unacceptable.  It still is.  I found a niche where I could fully express the pain and grief of this loss … it has made all the difference in the world.  However, there is still an occasional urge to open up and talk about this period of disenfranchised grief … this heartbreaking loss.

But I don’t.

I hold back.

I keep it in.

Locked away.

Only a few people have access to this part of my ❤

 Disenfranchised grief …

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Disenfranchised grief occurs when an individual’s grief experience is not recognized or acknowledged by others. Disenfranchised grievers are frequently overlooked or ignored, lack opportunities to express their emotions, receive diminished social support and sympathy from others, and may be deprived of opportunities…

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