Why I don’t tell people I’ve had a hysterectomy

I frequently want to tell some friends and family members that I had a hysterectomy about eight months ago.  But I never do.  I never tell them about this surgery.  I’d like to mention it though because it’s been a big part of my life.

I don’t tell them because …

  • They don’t ask me about having a baby anymore.  So, I wouldn’t need to explain how would be impossible now … at least a baby coming from my body!  The baby house is gone folks!
  • They are too focused on telling me about them so I end up listening instead. safe secret
  • It seems weird to suddenly say, out-of-context, Hey, by the way, I’ve had a hysterectomy!  Especially when we’ve just been talking about 50 Shades of GreyThere really is nothing sexier than a love story and bondage mixed with a hysterectomy … NOT!
  • Recently I’ve even forgotten about the hysterectomy myself.  Seriously.  Apparently my husband has too because at about six months post-op he mentioned “that hysterectomy you had a year ago”  while I had to remind him I hadn’t even had my hysterversary* yet.

HYSTERVERSARY: An anniversary of having had a hysterectomy

  • I want to talk about other things … and there are so many other things to talk about.
  • I don’t want them to feel like I left them out on a part of my life when I had the hysterectomy, just now including them several months later to spare their feelings.
  • My hysterectomy went well emotionally and physically so there isn’t much to say … at least out loud to others.
  • I instead tell women who are about to have a hysterectomy about my experience … they seem to genuinely appreciate the sharing.
  • I would rather my friends and family read this blog instead … but I don’t even tell them I have a blog!  They don’t ask.  I don’t tell.

secret self

Don’t think I don’t tell them because …

  • I’m squeamish about talking about anything medical.  This couldn’t be further from the truth!  I can talk about almost anything medical without flinching and go into great detail … well, except eyeballs.  Eyeball surgery makes me squeamish.  Bleh!
  • I’m a prude.  Nope, not me.  Again, I can talk about the female body with ease.  And have.  And will.
  • I think they’ll feel sorry for me.  No again.  I can’t imagine how they would feel sorry for me unless they’re still hung up on the notion of a near-fifty-year-old woman giving birth!  I’d actually have to set anyone straight who expressed sympathy in regard to my hysterectomy.
  • I’m such a private person.  Well, yes and no.  I’m sort of private but I’m also very open when talking to most friends and family about life experiences.  Things have to be in the right context at the right moment for me to share many details of my life though.
  • They might think differently about me.  This is possible but I certainly wouldn’t care they thought I was different due to having had a hysterectomy.  I am different.  I am no longer fatigued and in pain every single month … but otherwise I’m pretty much the same ol’ every day me … sans uterus.kitty does not care
  • I’m ashamed to tell people I had the surgery.  Nope.  Nope.  Nope.  I’m actually relieved I had the surgery and would like to tell people how much my life improved.  I also feel grateful I had good medical insurance coverage, not to mention an extremely supportive husband.  I’ve always thought I should have had a celebratory hysterectomy party but my husband thought that would be too much.  Too much fun I say!

Through one other particular life-changing experience I learned that sharing intimate details of my life isn’t always necessary and won’t always be appreciated.  I have learned to live in the space that it’s OK if everyone doesn’t know something I’d like to share with them.

At this point, all the people who need to know or I feel really need to know that I’ve had a hysterectomy know.  If and when the times comes that it’s necessary to share with others about my past surgery I will.  But until then, it’s still a semi-secret part of me.

Here’s one secret I’ll leave YOU with … the secret as to why cats purr:


cats purr beecause

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s